Powerful techniques to optimize your emotions, beliefs, and behaviors

The Couple's Word/Phrase Intimacy Test

The Word/Phrase Intimacy Test is a technique for discovering how you think and feel about getting involved in an intimate relationship. Circle the words closest to how you think and feel about being intimate and loving with another person. Reviewing your answers will give you an overall sense of how you feel about getting close and forming an intimate relationship.


Do you prefer a warm and loving relationship or do you find relationships uninviting or uncomfortable? Choose the word/phrase closest to how you thin and feel at this moment. If you find relationships unappealing (more than 14 negative words circled) you might wish to explore any pain you associate with love and closeness. This pain can be grist for exploration and integration.


First words are positive and second words are negative. In considering being close and intimate with your partner, how do you feel now? Choose the word or phrase.

(1) Free or engulfed.
(2) Secure or shaky
(3) Fun or frightened.
(4) Little effort or much effort.
(5) Trusting or distrustful.
(6) Pleasant or unpleasant.
(7) Satisfied or never enough.
(8) Fulfilled or drained.
(9) Connected or disconnected.
(10) Going to last or not going to last.
(11) Enjoying it or depressed.
(12) Calm or anxious.
(13) At home or alien.
(14) Breath of fresh air or suffocated.
(15) Warm or chilly.
(16) Open or closed off.
(17) Passionate or remote.
(18) Connected & separate or connected & dependent.
(19) Sense of gain or surrendering too much of myself.
(20) Enriched or drained.
(21) Open or closed.
(22) Invited or uninvited.
(23) In control or out of control.
(24) Assertive or unassertive.
(25) Hot or cold.
(26) Attracted or repulsed.
(27) Harmonious or contentious.
(28) Inspired or uninspired.

Have fun, Steve


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